Thoughts of a Rooster Returned
by Flamelyte
Summary: Sano has returned to Japan after adventuring for a few years. However, something he saw has kept him from going to see his fox lady again. SxM, minor AxM


This is just a look at what Sano would be like a little more grown up. It's insight to his thoughts and feelings about the people and world around him, specifically Megumi. It also contains minor Misao and Aoshi. It sort of is rambling, but most thoughts are when you're thinking them, right? Enjoy.

Oh, actually. This is as if Sano left shortly after the incident with Makoto Shishio, and then has returned to Japan 2 years later. As I have little knowledge of the series beyond the Shishio Arc, I've merely ignored its existence for this fic.

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It's the truth, you know. Hell, I never was a wise man. A wise guy, yes. I'd crack any comment to get a good fight. But never a wise man. Never a man, period. I was a thief in almost every sense, young and gambling my life away. Drinking. I had a large tab at the Akabeko, and one that was growing constantly at that. I gambled. And may I unproudly state that I sucked at gambling. I was a street fighter. The almighty Zanza, the fighter for higher. I wielded the legendary Zanbatou, a blade so large it could take out horses in one swing. Well, the name Zanza went to hell after a few short years. Kenshin beat me without so much as an effort.

I curse the fact that I was so naive and weak. I honestly thought that I had a chance against the truly legendary hitokiri battousai.

Though he sucked at gambling too, if my memory serves me. I remember hitting him over the head a few times for it…Anyway.

So, I was poor. The money from my fighter-for-higher days quickly ran out. I stopped the whole deal once Kenshin defeated me. And I'd rather die than steal from innocent people, you know? I mean, that would make me a bigger hypocrite than I already am. I'll explain why I'm a hypocrite later...But anyway. Captain Sagara taught me to not take what isn't mine...not to steal from innocent people. His death taught me how dirty the Imperialists are.

Though again, they aren't as awful as I once thought. Just fighting for what they believed inlike I was with Captain Sagara and the Seikeihoutai, and now some protecting people to repent. Like Kenshin. And then there are even morons from the side who fought against the Imperialists that took government jobs along with Imperialists. Like Saitou, damn him, but I'll get to him later along with how I'm a hypocrite. There are tons of others as well, as I've met them in the past few years since meeting Kenshin. Aoshi Shinomori of the oniwaban actually refused a government job, but hell, he went psycho instead. I still feel bad for the weasel, but hey, if she wants to dote and spend her days longing for a man who thinks life can be found in a temple, then who the hell am I to say anything...?

I am someone to say something though.

I can honestly say, as selfish and self-righteous and stuck-up as it sounds, that I'm better than Aoshi Shinomori. I never killed innocent people like he did. Or at least, not nearly as many. I did not work for a drug dealer. And I could still kill him for the fact that the drug dealer he worked for, Kanryuu, killed my best friend…but that would make Misao sad. Again, I fell bad for the weasel. Sweet girl. Hyper. Not very tall. And she ain't exactly the prettiest or politest girls around. But hell, she can throw crude insults with the best of 'em, including myself.

Besides, the weasel would be sad if I killed her 'Aoshi-sama.' And it'd be stupid and empty to do so now anyway. He'll cause no more harm. He hasn't picked up his kodachi anyway. And he sort of redeemed himself when he helped Kenshin against Shishio Makoto…but hell with that again, since Aoshi tried to kill Kenshin.

I do believe I'm talking in circles and saying 'hell' too much.

But either way, he still won't return Misao's affections. Sort of sad, really. He's a stupid guy. She'll long for him forever probably. And I still want to know how she's Okashira. She's strong, but not even comparable to most. Then again, I suppose there is no one else. It's a dying group…I think she knows. I spoke to her a week ago after I caught her daydreaming in the woods a bit outside Kyoto. She said she wished she was acceptable as an Okashira, but no one would ever take her seriously. Not even Aoshi.

It scared me when she added no title to Aoshi's name. And I suppose I say I hate Aoshi for leaving Misao hanging.

…But really, I'm as bad as him. Because I suppose I left you hanging as well.

And thus the magical little tale of me, Sanosuke Sagara, truly begins. I still can't believe my mental prelude involved Shinomori and the weasel…

Ahou.

Oh dear god, I'm starting to call myself the same thing that bastard Saitou calls me. Maybe he's right after all.

But back to the point.

I left for America. I wanted to see the world, and get stronger. I had to be stronger. Kenshin beat me easily. Saitou did. Aoshi could kick my ass, even. And to hell with it, I had trouble with some godamned oniwaban henchmen as first. Okay. The godamned oniwaban henchmen was 'Shikijou, the dungeon guard of Edo Castle.' Happy now? I've respected the dead.

Poor guy died at the hands of a stupid gattling gun. I didn't even finish him off. Can anyone say pathetic? I lost to some old man!

…And again, I ask myself, why the hell do I keep making references to ninjas?!

Okay, so, back on topic again. I toured the world. I did get stronger. I came back after…two years. I was twenty two years old the day I arrived back in Tokyo. And you don't know how good it felt to be home, fox lady. I nearly jumped for joy. But the horrors I'd seen in the world, beyond of what I'd already seen here in Japan…whether you could believe it or not, fox, it changed me. I think a person could say I grew up.

…am I even allowed to call you fox lady anymore? Perhaps I have to call you just 'Megumi' or even 'Takani-san.' There's no way of knowing.

Yet.

And so I'm leaning against a wall, fox lady, pathetic rooster head that I am. And I can't help but wonder if a fool of a rooster and a pretty fox lady are compatible. Or if they can even be friends again.

After all, I left for my tour of the world without ever saying goodbye to you.

I think it was one of my biggest mistakes.

I saw you with a child the day I came back. And a handsome man that must've been around twenty-five, I suppose. Was it yours? Was that little baby yours, Megumi? And have I lost any chance of ever having you?

And now, wisely, I have just kicked the wall and hurt my foot. Fortunately I am wearing heavy boots, but the explanation of that will come along with the explanation of why I'm a hypocrite and Saitou. They all go together.

Curious, I'll bet.

But let me finish explaining everything else in my head first. Yes, Sanosuke Sagara, you are talking to yourself. And thankfully, not out loud, or else someone would probably think you were drunk.

Actually, I got drunk two nights ago. Gambled.

And go figure, I actually won. 'Maturity' must've helped my luck a bit. I have a nice bag of cash currently in my pocket thanks to my little drunken escapade.

It doesn't make me as happy as it would have two years ago. Again, I've changed. At heart. In mind. In appearance. I reference to the boots. Again, further explanation later.

So, again I ask, have I lost you? Because I pray to whatever god I up there that I haven't. Buddha, that Christian god, hell, a muslim god. I've seen too many religions and seen too much bloodshed to believe in any specific religion. But either way, whatever god there is, don't let it be that I've lost you.

…I sort of left for you, you know? And yes, it's a pathetic excuse.

…and yet…

I had to prove I was stronger. I wanted to be seen as someone worth respecting. I never really was respected. And if I was, no one ever showed it. I was just the back-alley ruffian.A child left over from the war who went bad and wore 'bad' on my back and was a fool and wished for the world and wished for strength and whose spirit began to die and who fell in love with you.

A long thought. A true thought. I'm being pathetically pathetic.

Dammit. I did love you. And I still do. The thought of you, Megumi Takani, the girl who made the opium that killed my best friend…the thought of you kept me going. But not the bad parts with the opium. It was your laugh, it was how you wanted to be a doctor, it's how you teased Kaoru, it was how you were strong.

You didn't give up on life. I remember that day as clear as crystal. The day Hannya recaptured you and Kanryuu threatened you. You broke down and cried because you couldn't escape for him. And then, as stupid and self-righteous as you were, you marched right back to him.

It makes me smile now, thinking of how foolish you were. After all, as I said to you, you had Kenshin as well as myself to protect you.

And then of course, Shikijou attacked me. I defeated him. And of COURSE that nasty little rodent-like ninja Beshimi caught you ANYWAY…It still makes me want to hit myself on the head.

Not a good idea. Again, people will think I'm strange.

Hell, off topic. Again. Once again drifting to the Oniwaban…Why the hell is that? I have a feeling I should know…

I'll think of that reason anyway.

Back to what I should be thinking. That sight of you with the child hit me hard. I hope it was a patient, but you seemed close to the man holding the child…And it didn't help that the day I saw you was a mere three days after I'd arrived back in Japan.

It hurt.

I haven't seen you since…I suppose I forgot to mention that it's been a month since that day.

I haven't seen Kenshin or Kaoru either. Though I picked up somewhere along the way that they had a little boy. This secretly made me hope that the child you'd held was Kenshin's, but of course, I heard that Kenshin's kid has red hair.

Dammit. Well, cross that option out.

Well, now that there's a list. I have seen Aoshi since I've returned. I've seen Misao. I've heard of Kenshin and Kaoru, but haven't dared see them yet. I see them, you'll know about me. I think I spotted Yahiko working in the Akabeko…in an apron…Kenshin has obviously been a bad influence. A very very bad influence. That little waitress girl has him whipped. I've obviously caught sight of you, fox lady. And last but not least, I've seen the oh-so-wonderful, infuriating, sarcastic, chain-smoking, asshole, legendary captain of the 3rd Squad of the Shinsengumi captain Saitou.

Oh yes. It has now just hit me QUITE hard why the oniwaban have been brought up so much.

I'm currently sitting in a room with Saitou, Aoshi, Misao, and that old man Okina. Saitou needs their aid with something and something, and they are discussing agreements and something or whatever. I am supposedly paying attention. Obviously not, but hey, I suppose some things about me will never change. Though I HAVE picked up a few things, thank you very much. As for what hit me, Misao chucked a cup at my head for not paying attention.

Let me explain this lovely meeting.

They greeted each other, sat down around this lovely little table, and Okina and Saitou proceded to exchange words that pissed each other off. Or moreso, Saitou began with something that pissed Okina off. I'm sure you can come up with your own creative ideas.

Misao finally got tired off the arguing and told them both to shut up. She didn't screech it, surprisingly. It was in a raised voice - an authoritative one. It surprised Aoshi, who glanced at her and I'll be damned if his eyes didn't open just a bit wider. Okina shut his mouth, and looked away, disgruntled. I get the feeling Misao had used the tone of voice with him at least once before. And Saitou, well, he just pulled his cigarette out of his mouth, regarded Misao for a moment, than began explaining the situation.

Kanryuu was back. Except the drug ring was more wide spread now. He'd gotten his hands on Megumi's special opium.

This fact obviously infuriated Aoshi.

Saitou smirked, and told Misao she should find ninjas that could control their tempers.

Misao's eyes had then narrowed, and then had glanced at Aoshi. His face returned to an expressionless state a short while after.

And now, for the past while, they've been explaining the details of this mission. How to get Kanryuu, how to find the other people in his drug circle, etc etc etc…

I just want to take a shot at outrunning a gattling gun. Wouldn't THAT be a great thrill? If Kenshin could outrun it at less than full strength, so could I. At least, now I could. You'd be surprised at how much stronger I've gotten. Sure, it would be reckless to go up against a gattling gun. But I suppose that there is still a good bit of recklessness left in me.

I still live for thrills. I still live to argue. I've also gotten exceedingly good at pissing people off.

And what do you know, I feel Aoshi's eyes are on me.

I feel like pissing him off.

I give a small, lopsided grin, a small, mocking salute, and stand. Saitou tells me to sit down. I blatantly ignore him and shrug. "As you've noticed I haven't been paying attention as you don't give a damn whether I do or not…well, I'll be outside."

I give another mocking salute to my 'superior' and step outside, shutting the shoji door behind me. I know Saitou merely takes another drag of his cigarette and continues talking business.

Yeah, that's right. I said superior.

And now we get to the lovely part in my story where Saitou, the fact that I'm a hypocrite, and the fact that I'm wearing boots all coincide.

…Where to begin…

We'll start with the outfit. Strangely enough, everything should all fall into place from there.

You'd get a kick out of this, fox lady.

When I arrived back in Tokyo, the outfit I had left with was gone. No more white jacket and pants, no more bandages, no more bad symbol on my back.

Who would've ever guessed? I honestly wouldn't have. I could've sworn that I'd wear that symbol for bad on my back my whole life. But I guess I changed.

That, and with the fights and traveling I did, the outfit just wasn't going to last.

So, I was in America. Why not be like these strange Westerners and wear their clothing? I figured I might as well fit in. So I bought a pair of pants, a simple shirt, some boots. Easier for travel, though the boots were awkward to fight in. However, they made me faster in the long run.

These clothes were also ruined by the end of my trip.

So before I left America, I once again bought new clothes. Black pants. A red shirt. I still have a red headband around my head. It actually looks pretty good, I think. It also looked pretty good according to some pretty American girls…Yes, I shouldn't be mentioning them. But I swear I ignored them.

Oh, and I should also mention. I carry a kodachi around with me now.

Futae No Kiwami is still my style. However, I've found a blade can be very effective. I've used it in the way Anje did, where he created the shockwave type effect. I can't really remember the specific name for that technique.

I also fight with it similar to how Aoshi did, though my style is far from that of a defensive one.

I had the blade crafted in America. It's simple enough, however there is one small detail that specifically shows this blade is mine. Yes, crafted in America. But by a craftsman from Japan. I did need a decent sword, after all.

The symbol for bad is carved in the blade near the hilt.

Old habits die hard. And that symbol will live with me forever, in one way or another.

Along with my occassional bursts of stupidity. Though this is a habit I truly wish I could break…

To continue with my story, I got off the ship, blade at my side. And what do you know? The cops come after me. Seems swords have become even rarer in the days I've been gone.

And as luck would have it, Saitou was there.

I was chased through the port, and eventually into Tokyo. I could have out run them, but being cocky, I figured why the hell shouldn't I have some fun?I'm glad I did have that fun. Eventually, they did catch me. And go figure, they were the 'almighty sword policemen.' Almighty my ass. I took them down easily enough.

Then I had felt eyes on me, sensed a movement…

…and managed to block and evade an attack from Mibu's wolf himself.

Thus, how my lovely employment began. Of course, not before an argument between us first, which he won. Though I think he noticed the change in me too. It surprised me when I didn't blow up on him and attack him pointlessly.

The fact that I didn't probably dissapointed him though. I could tell from the look in his eye that I was going to be his source of amusement for the day.

But he was going to try. The bastard arrested me.

After letting me sit in a rotting jail cell for about 2 days, I was brought to his office. He made me an offer. He said he was in need of some assistance with a current case, and since I seemed somewhat less 'reckless' than I had two years prior, I'd be of some use.

I think I just glared at him, said something sarcastic, and went back to sleep in my cozy little rotting jail cell.

…And the threw me out of jail into the street…which pissed me off…Because he'd successfully ruined my nap time.

He said to think about his offer, then went back to his office.

I wandered through Tokyo for a bit, and that's when I saw you again. I had been heading for Kaoru's dojo. I knew it was still there from the letters we'd sent back and forth, though they were few and far between.

I saw you. Holding that damned child…

But either way, here I am. Leaning against a beam on the outside deck of the Aoiya, staring at the yard. I'm wearing my black plants, my red shirt, my red bandana, and black jacket that indicates that I'm a cop, if only a temporary one. My sword is at my side. And I'm a hypocrite. I suppose that's the part that needs explaining?

At the beginning of this lovely little mental narrative of mine, I said that Imperialists, as well as people who fought against them, had taken government jobs. I said they were morons. But yet here I am, helping protect the very same government who betrayed me when I was a nine year old boy in the Seikeihoutai.. I'm doing the same thing Saitou is.

That does make me a hypocrite, right…?

Who knows anymore.

All I know is that I'm a good fighter now. I haven't challenged Saitou, but I found strangely that it'd be pointless anymore. Sure, it'd be fun as hell…but there's one thing about me now that's different.

The fact that I strike to kill. It hadn't been possible before. One thing that makes my techniques imperfect is that every hit, every blow, every slash, with fist or blade, is intended to kill. They'd be no good in a practice battle. If I fought Saitou…one of us would be dead. I don't doubt the other would be severely wounded.

I sigh. The weasel girl has come out. She leans against the post opposite of the one I lean against. I hear Okina yelling in the background.

"You've changed, rooster."

"You too, weasel." The nicknames are pleasant now. They're just names. Not meant to infuriate as they once had been on many an occasion.

"I wouldn't have never thought you'd work for Saitou." Misao stated.

"I wouldn't have thought you'd make a half-decent leader." I reply, and look over at her with a grin.

She scowls, not knowing if I'm teasing or not. She obviously can't tell how to be around me anymore.

I grin at her, and give a wink. "Come on now, weasel. No explosion? I come back, and I've yet to hear the weasel girl screech and rant and chuck kunai at me." This is the Sanosuke Sagara she knows. And you know, really, I never really left. Just changed a little.

I still love to piss her off.

She still loves to explode.

Several kunai are launched at me, most aimed for my head.

I laugh.

Her eyes sparkle with a sinister cuteness that only she could pull off.

I catch the kunai.

Her mouth drops open.

I grin.

She gives a loud yelp and hides behind one of the large wooden poles. I laugh, and began throwing them lazily, one at a time, at the pole. Then one at her foot.

…She yelps again as it almost hits her… "Sanooo!"

Okina and Aoshi come running.

Saitou follows a few moments later, looking irritated.

Aoshi gives me his best icy glare.

Okina is turning red.

Saitou raises an eyebrow. He was probably getting bored from the meeting, and seeing as Misao and myself were two of his favorite sources of entertainmet…Though he was irritated, I'm thinking the amusement overcame the irritation.

Aoshi steps in front of the pole to 'protect' Misao.

I throw the last kunai so it lands in the pole right by Aoshi's head.

His eyes flash.

I grin. "Hey Misao? I win." And yes, I do believe I might have suicidal tendencies. Swords or no, it still isn't smart to throw things at Shinomori's head.

I can tell Saitou is even more amused.

"WHAT?!?!?" She steps out from behind the pole, shoves past Aoshi, and begins to twitch. "How the hell do you win? And at what? And-"

I put my hands behind my head in a relaxed and unconcerned gesture and close my eyes for a few moments. Then I reopen them. "I. Win."

She twitched again.

I wink at her. Her response is to launch herself at me. I dodge, and take off. She runs after me.

Okina stands there, bewildered. Aoshi looks like some stranded fish. Saitou just gives a slight roll of his eyes and leaves. I guess he'd finished business.

A short while later, both Misao and I were sitting on the roof. Saitou is probably back at his Kyoto office by now. I'll find him later.

Misao breaks the comfortable silence. "Do you think…he was jealous?"

I blink. "Huh?

"Aoshi…" She speaks carefully, hesitantly. "All I want…is for him to live again. I love him, yes. But even if he doesn't love me in return…" She rocks back and forth uncomfortably. "I wanted to make him jealous today."

I remembered the flash in Aoshi's eyes. I remembered him staring at me in the room, and it occurred to me that it had been out of anger that he was looking at me.

It occurred to me that Misao's eyes had been on me as well.

"I'd say it worked…" I folded my arms. "And you probably gave me a bruise on my head from that cup you threw at me.

Misao gave a soft laugh. "I hope." I didn't know what she was refering to, making Aoshi jealous or the cup…I decided to think it was Aoshi. "But even if it didn't…" She looked over at me with a gaze far more wise than I'd ever seen her have.

Seems we've both changed quite a bit in the past two years.

"Sano…she misses you."

My face remains expressionless. I mean, what can I say to that? "Who?" I ask dumbly.

"You know who, silly. And I can reassure you, no matter what has kept you away from them since you've come back…that she's still waiting."

I turn to stare at her.

She giggles. "Now you really look like a rooster, despite how good you looked earlier."

"Thank you, dear Okashira, for the backhanded compliment…" I tug on her braid.

She gives a small yelp, and glares at me. "Off the braid."

I pretend to cower away. "Yes ma'am." And after that, we just look at each other, before bursting out with sudden and completely random laughter. We didn't need a reason. We aren't close friends, sure, but…

The laughter slowly dies, and there is silence again.

"I'll…tell Aoshi how I feel. And then whatever happens, happens…" She finally murmurs.

"And I'll find the fox." I reply. My eyes widen when I hear a sob come from her, though when I turn to look, she isn't crying. I suppose she's just choking on her words…

"I shouldn't be…but..but…I'm afraid…"

I give her a small smile. "Well then, weasel girl, what are you doing up here with me?"

She stared at me. "What?"

I stand up, and stretch, and then grin at her. For some reason, I feel as if this weight has been lifted off of my heart. Probably…Because I know you're still waiting for me. So I'll ask Saitou if I can handle the part of the case that's in Tokyo…then I can see you.

"Aoshi is the one who will get rid of those fears of yours." And I jump of the roof without another word. I here a small thunk a few momments later, indicating Misao had gotten down as well. A shoji door opens and closes.

I stand out in the yard for a while, staring upward. Here I am, a hypocrite, working for Hajime Saitou. And here I am, a rooster. A fool. A friend. I guy who uses Futae No Kiwami. A guy who wants to help people. And guy who strangely just might've helped Misao.

A guy who had a very long conversation with himself.

A guy who wanted her.

Just a guy, named Sanosuke Sagara, who is going to win her.

I start walking, and mutter to myself, grinning slightly. "I'm coming home, fox lady."

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The end!

My first fanfic that I can actually say I'm proud of in…a long time. A very very very long time. Also known as three years.


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